Funny Clear & Crisp One-Liners

Here are some funny one-liners that I came across..

• "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy and the tallest guy in the National Basketball Association is Chinese."-Chris Rock
• "A guy know's he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days."-Tim Allen
• "A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."-Zsa Zsa Gabor
• "A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it."-Bob Hope
• "I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair."-Thom Sharp
• "Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for the entire weekend."-Zenna Schaffer
• "It's not that I'm afraid to die; I just don't want to be there when it happens."-Woddy Allen
• "I've been on a calender, but I've never been on time."-Marilyn Monroe
• "It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it."-Sam Levenson